Are The Hobbit Movies Just An Adaptation Of Bilbo’s Book?

Therefore welcomed Defending the Indefensible Week , where we attempt to vindicate some of pop culture’s crappiest instants through the magical of harebrained internet assumptions. Such as …

After presumably sharing an enchanted fate cookie with George Lucas, Peter Jackson abruptly crapped all over his beloved Lord Of The Rings series by directing two seconds trilogy based on The Hobbit . He took a quaint, relatively paltry children’s book and crammed it full of so many CGI ogres and awkward romantic subplots that it bloated into three butt-numbing movies.

Worst of all, while the Lord Of The Rings movies painstakingly blended practical and digital consequences to fashion a living, breathing version of Middle-earth, these new movies did nothing but toss their cast in front of a green screen and hurl the resulting print down into the Uncanny Valley. It wasn’t a victimless felony — poor Ian McKellen was reduced to tears. Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with digital effects, but there was definitely something wrong with these digital consequences. Take Azog the roided-out albino orc …

New Line Cinema

… or the leader of the goblins, the Great and Powerful Testicle-Chin …

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… or the scene wherein Smaug the dragon get caught in liquid amber, which looks so CGI it’s a ponder Randy Newman doesn’t start singing about friendship in the middle of it.

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema Also an accurate review of the trilogy.

Even the movie’s people were somehow wholly unconvincing. Take the scene in which Legolas treats the laws of physics the same way Kiefer Sutherland treats the laws of not punching people in the face.

New Line Cinema “Good thing I saw the save phase before trying this.”

But according to one theory, there may be an in-universe explanation for all this. Remember, we’re not actually watching an adaptation of the book The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. The first movie, An Unexpected Journey , begins with Bilbo writing his memoirs …

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New Line Cinema ” … in a Shire far, far away.”

Meaning that the three movies we’re about to watch could in fact has become a the representatives from Bilbo’s story from his own view, and not the objective POV of the original novel. So the events we consider onscreen are being filtered through the brain of a senior citizen trying to recall his youth and, well, maybe embellishing a little bit to keep the kids reading.

Like, maybe there was no giant white orc at all, but Bilbo knew the pacing of the real tale was off a little and decided to spice things up. Hell, for all we are aware, Bilbo’s literary agent maintained convincing him to punch up specific actions so it could compete with Hobbit John Grisham.

JM McNab

Of course, while this theory helps wrap our brains around some of the more baffling selections in the Hobbit trilogy, it also complicates other parts of the dealership. Remember that Return Of The King ends with the reveal that Frodo was writing a volume about his adventures — kind of like the end of Stand By Me , but without adding that Merry and Pippin died in ‘Nam.

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema Who the hell is “Fnodo Buggins”?

So if the Hobbit movies were Bilbo’s book, does that mean that the Lord Of The Rings movies were all written by Frodo? If so, why did he go into such detail about material he wasn’t around for? Wouldn’t Aragorn be a little weirded out? It’s like if you found out a former co-worker wrote a memoir, and for some reason it included imaginary love scenes starring you .

If the filmmakers didn’t want us to draw these conclusions, why prominently feature scenes in which the characters are authoring the books? It’s not as if every movie based on a volume does this. We don’t watch an older John McClane sitting in front of a word processor typing: “It wasn’t just hard to die … It was hard … to live … “

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